Thursday, November 8, 2012

Life is great

Well, this has been one crazy year. When i last posted, i was pretty much as low as could be. I wasnt sleeping or eating and have never been under more stress. To lose the man i thought i would spend the rest of my life with was something i wouldnt wish upon my worst enemy. But i picked myself up off the floor and pieced my life back together. I moved into my own place in March, and started dating again. The most unexpected thing then happened - i met the most amazing man alive. I fell instantly in love and so did he, and 7 months later we are living together and enjoying an amazing, fun relationship. I never imagined i would ever meet someone i would get along with so well. In 6 weeks im taking him home to meet my family, who are so supportive of me and have told me how they cannot wait to meet my boyfriend. as for my ex, a few months later he apologised for what he did to me and broke up with the guy he left me for. We have managed to stay good friends, with a lot of forgiveness on my part, but whats the point in staying angry? he made a mistake, a big one, but we really were best friends and i like him still being in my life. Romantically, our story is 100% over, and we both know that, and theres never any awkwardness. Hes met my new bf several times and they get along well too. Ive decided to stay in Canada to be with the man i love, but i cannot wait to go home and see my family, especially given i havnt actually seen them since i came out to them!! anyway thats the short version of the last 10 months of my life. obviously i rarely update anymore but i might do another one after my visit home.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

12 months on

Well what an amazing year its been. I left my home, my family and friends, and moved to canada. Ive travvled all over north america, visited some amazing places and had some wonderful experiences. Then it all came crashing down last week. My partner of 8.5 years broke up with me . he is in love with someone else. someone i trusted explicitly. Ive had some difficult times through my life, but now i really know what rock bottom is. no food or sleep for a week. tears after tears. emptiness.

But theres always a bright side to everything. when you hit rock bottom , u feel like u have nothing left to lose. i called my mother. came clean about everything. told my siblings. they were all great. more supportive than i could possibly have imagined. i realise now that i really had nothing to worry about. my mother understood completely. she agreed that my father would never have accepted it and understood why i had never come out.
But a massive weight is off my shoulders. Im out of the closet. finally. after all these years. no more secrets or hiding who i am. now i just have to rebuild my life from the ground up. i wont be beaten. i will survive.