first post

ok so ive never blogged before and really have no idea what i am doing... basically i have felt a very strong urge to write about myself and my feelings for a long time and after hearing about blogspot decided to try this. im not sure how many ppl or if even anyone will read this, if you are reading this, thanks for taking the time and i hope i dont bore you!

so basically im a 28yo guy from sydney australia . im gay and my family have no idea, but slowly over the years ive come out to most of my friends and some ppl i work with. I think ive known i was gay since puberty began so this has been a very slow process, i have never had the guts to go the whole way and completely come out. Noone that i havnt specifically told suspects my sexuality as i guess im quite masculine and dont fit the stereotype that people believe exists for gays. so basically what i intend to write about here is my story through the periods of my life, my story today , my feelings, my family and friends, and my ups and downs over the years. I dont think anyone can understand what a closeted gay guy goes through growing up unless they have been through it themselves. im writing this for myself and not for anyone else, but if someone does read this my hope is that they are some poor young guy who is struggling with their sexuality who can read this and know they are not alone in the world. when i was 17 (1998)i dont recall anything like this on the internet, my only outlet was gay chat rooms where dirty old men wanted to meet u for sex. this turned me off anything related to homosexuality on the net for a long time, i didnt look again til i was about 20/21 and the internet had grown a lot by then so there was a lot more around, and thats when my "gay" life started, before this i was still totally closeted and had only been with girls. ok so i think ive rambled enough for now and will write more soon.

cheers

John