the fuckbuddy

my second foray into the gay internet life was very different from the first. i no longer felt like the scared little boy who was too frightened to even give his real name to someone he chatted to online. i started chatting to a lot of guys, and of course they all wanted to meet up. i think being in a city where you have no family and not many friends made it easier to give the net more of a fair go this time. i decided to bite the bullet and do it. i had been chatting to a guy who was a bit like me, still in the closet. he seemed totally normal online. so we organised to meet up, not for sex, just to chat . i have never been so friggin scared in my life, i was so nervous. he came to my house to pick me up to go to the beach. unfortunately, it went awfully. the guy was a bit of a freak. not bad looking, but really weird. he didnt have any personality or social skills. we spent about an hour together and then he dropped me off home, we never spoke again.
i didnt regret meeting him, even though it went badly, i felt kinda liberated having done it. so i organised to meet someone else. this was about OCT 2001. this guy was a bit older, 33 when i was 20. he was recently seperated from his wife, and not out to anyone yet, and he had a daughter. i felt kinda awkward about that situation, given my age and naiveity, but decided to meet him anyway. we got along great. he was a hot as his photos, perfect body. he lived about an hour from me, so i agreed to go to his place, and stay the night. he said if we didnt find each other attractive, he had a spare room i could sleep in. we both kinda knew what was gunna happen if we were attracted! and thats what did happen. we went out for dinner , and then back to his place. he asked if i wanted to sleep in the spare room or his bed. i said his bed of course. he had a bit more experience than me, he started sleeping with guys about a year earlier when he first seperated from his wife. i had only ever been with 1 guy before, and i was pretty drunk that time. this time i was fairly sober and really really nervous. but he made me feel at ease, he said he didnt want me to do anything i didnt feel comfortable with. we went to bed and got naked. we spent probably the next hour just touching each other. it was nice. eventually we started going for it. i reckon this was probably about 10pm. and we continued all night, until the sun came up. we didnt sleep at all! it was totally not awkward the next day either, like i thought it might be. but i had uni so i had to leave. we organised for me to come visit him again the weekend after. the funniest thing happened the 2nd time. we spent the weekend together, i was really getting used to hot man sex, loving every minute of it! so on the sunday morning we are in the shower together, doing what 2 men in the shower do together. and then there is a BANG BANG on his bathroom window!! (thankfully not see thru). then we hear a voice calling my friends name. it was his mother and father coming for a surprise visit!!! he totally freaked. i went and hid in his walk in closet in his bedroom (how ironic!), dripping wet . in come his parents. he tried to get rid of them, but it was taking a few minutes. then, i hear footsteps and his mums voice. she has walked into his bedroom. i started freaking out, thinking she was coming in to put something in the closet. there was no explaining our way out of this one! thankfully she didnt open the closet, and my friend managed to get them to leave. after they left and we both calmed down, we both saw the funny side of what had just happened, and it became a running joke everytime we saw each other.
the relationship didnt get too serious. we probably met up once a week for about 2 months. he was my first fuckbuddy. altohugh neither of us were seeing other ppl. i dont think either of us wanted anything serious, and i told him i wanted to start meeting other guys from online and really start exploring my sexuality, he was totally cool with this, as he wanted to as well. we stayed in touch but i have only seem him once since. he ended up doing really well. not long after we stopped fucking, he came out to his family and ex-wife and his daughter. his ex-wife was a bitch at first, but got over it. the rest of his family supported him 100% . i believe he is now in a happy long term relationship and has a great relationship with his daughter. i really appreciated everything he taught me, not only sexually, but he made me feel so much better about being gay. he had been through so much himself, and had got married and had kids to try and live the straight life. for years i had thought thats what i should do, but i learnt from him how big a mistake this would have been. so by about DEC 2001, i felt i was now ready to really put myself out there. and so i did!