ok so i havnt told a single member of my family im gay. not my mum, no siblings, not even a cousin. everytime i talk about it with a friend who doesnt know anything about my family , they all say " oh you should just tell them, they wont care" . i really hate that, it doesnt always work out that way for everyone.
so i guess the main reasons i have never told my family are because of where i grew up (a small country town) and because of my dad. my dad was head of my family and the most influential person in my family. he really was a great guy, but extremely homophobic, and all my life was never shy in verbalising his feelings on this. my dad was also my best friend. sure he had flaws, but he really was a top guy. he died 2 years ago. i thought after he died i might find it easier to come out, but its not changed my feelings on the matter after all. i remember growing up he would always talk about how "poofs should be drowned" and he would often say things like"you can do whatever u want with ur life - as long as your not gay!" this was not joking, he was serious. everyone knew his feelings on homosexuality. he always said his hatred stemmed from when he was younger and living in sydney they would always try to hit on him, and he found them girly and repulsive. he was a true believer of the stereotype i guess. so my mum and siblings as far as i know are not as extreme in their attitudes as my dad was, however as i said we are from a country town,where being gay just isnt an option. there is so much more to this than what ive written but this will have to do for now as ive gotta go to work! bye for now
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