my year off

so when i finished high school in dec 1999, i decided to take a year off before going to uni. i got a job in a supermarket for a year. it was perfect, a completely mindless, boring job, just what i needed at the time, with casual hours, so plenty of time to relax and party. i spent that year drunk mostly. my friends and i went out every weekend without fail, and sometimes on weeknights. always to straight bars and clubs of course. its amazing how much energy you have when your 18/19. i could go out every night, and do it all again the night after, no worries. if i have a big night now, at my ripe old age of 28, i need 3 days to recover!!! i was actually quite depressed about my sexuality all year, i thinking partying the straight life so much was one way of dealing. but i managed to hide my despair from my friends with complete mastery. not only did none of them suspect my sexuality, they didnt see the anguish inside of me.
so this was also my last year at home with my mum (it was just us 2 the last few years - all my siblings were older and moved on) my mum is a good woman, we went thru a very rocky few years, (long story - another time) but i was going to miss her. she caught me jerking off that year. i was in my room and the mega hottie next door was mowing the lawn shirtless. everytime he did this i watched unseen through my window and jerked off .(my god, that sounds so creepy when i say it like that!!!!) anyway so she came into my room without knocking. how fucken embarressing. im 99% sure she didnt realise that i was looking thru the window at the hottie next door so that was ok, but there really is nothing worse than getting caught by ur mum!! she just went "oops" and shut the door again. we never spoke of it of course - who would want to ever bring THAT up!! i think i did a lot of jerkin off that year. sometimes up to 8 times a day. i was soooo sexually frustrated. i wanted so bad to be with a guy but never thought it would happen, so jerkin off thinking about it was by far the best substitute.
so at the end of that year the time finally came. i had to say goodbye to my friends and my mum and move away for uni. it was sad, but i was kinda excited too. i cried when i said goodbye to my 2 very best friends.. a lot. how manly of me, haha.