so just a bit about my siblings. i have 3 brothers and a sister . they r all older. 3 r married, 1 is divorced. they all have kids. i love my nieces and nephews, they r prolly the closest thing ill have to kids of my own, but it makes me supremely jealous that they have all bred successfully, carried on the family so to speak, but that wll never happen for me. none of em know im gay. have no idea how any of em would react. im pretty sure the brother closest in age to me possibly knows, he actually flat out asked me a couple of years back but i joked an answer back and laughed it off. the other ones have never brought it up with me. im very friendly with all my siblings, but also not especially close with any of em. we are all spread out around australia for a start. and i didnt really grow up with my elder 2 siblings, as they are a lot older and have a diff mum. a lot more to that story too. but i love em all. i hope one day i can get the guts and just tell them the truth, but i think my mum has to be the one i tell before them/
im gettin really tired of livin this lie and want to tell them soon. why oh why cant i just get the guts to do it? i dont wanna feel like this anymore
John, it's tough to come out. From what you've said about your upbringing and your father, it's tougher for you. You're the only one who can determine when the time is right, but you're showing the signs that the time is coming closer. You're frustrated with the situation and want it to end. Living a life where you have to hide so much, especially the most important relationship in your life, seems to be an ever growing burden. I hope that you will fully come out soon if that is right for you.
ReplyDeletestrength. there will come a time i hope when you will just do it and not care. and it will set you free.
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